好的作文不是一次性写出来的,而是改出来的,好的口语也不是一次性说出来的,而是无数次修改遣词造句的结果,在我读哈佛法学院那本书的时候,发现即使最牛的金牌律师,在临上庭的时候都会把盘问的每一个字写在纸上,以求万无一失,作为第二语言学习者的我们,在英文学习的时候,没有任何理由不这么去做。雅思班的同学发来一些句子,让我帮他们修改,而我给他们的建议都是自己先修改三次,有明显进步后,有解决不了的问题我再来帮助他们。以下是几个我觉得比较典型的句子,我们来分析一下。
原句:With all the reasons, the mind to be with you is always existing from the first moment when opening my eyes to the last second when clasing them, and is planted in my heart deeptly just like a luxuriant tree.
点评:With all the reasons, the mind to be with you is always existing(时态有一点问题) from 要加上the first moment when opening(主语是mind不是I,所以这里不能用ing,否则就是mind自己张开眼睛的意思) my eyes to the last second when clasing(单词拼写错误) them, and is planted (是不是想说植根)in my heart deeply, just like a luxuriant tree.
修改参考:With all the reasons that can be found in this universe, the faith to be with has been deeply rooted in my mind, heart and soul from the first moment when I open my eyes to the last second when I close them.
好的作文不是一次性写出来的,而是改出来的,好的口语也不是一次性说出来的,而是无数次修改遣词造句的结果,在我读哈佛法学院那本书的时候,发现即使最牛的金牌律师,在临上庭的时候都会把盘问的每一个字写在纸上,以求万无一失,作为第二语言学习者的我们,在英文学习的时候,没有任何理由不这么去做。雅思班的同学发来一些句子,让我帮他们修改,而我给他们的建议都是自己先修改三次,有明显进步后,有解决不了的问题我再来帮助他们。以下是几个我觉得比较典型的句子,我们来分析一下。
原句:With all the reasons, the mind to be with you is always existing from the first moment when opening my eyes to the last second when clasing them, and is planted in my heart deeptly just like a luxuriant tree.
点评:With all the reasons, the mind to be with you is always existing(时态有一点问题) from 要加上the first moment when opening(主语是mind不是I,所以这里不能用ing,否则就是mind自己张开眼睛的意思) my eyes to the last second when clasing(单词拼写错误) them, and is planted (是不是想说植根)in my heart deeply, just like a luxuriant tree.
修改参考:With all the reasons that can be found in this universe, the faith to be with has been deeply rooted in my mind, heart and soul from the first moment when I open my eyes to the last second when I close them.
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