名师指点:学生容易在雅思作文中犯的错

2012-06-16 11:00:25 雅思
雅思考试分为留学类(A类)和普通培训类(G类)。A类和G类在写作方面有所不同,但两者均由任务1(TASK 1)和任务2(TASK 2)组成,总时间均为60分钟。

TASK 1要求考生在20分钟内完成至少150词的写作任务;TASK 2要求考生在40分钟内完成至少250词的写作任务。A类TASK 1考试内容为曲线图、表格或图表,而G类TASK 1考信件(索取信息或说明信息);就TASK 2而言,A类和G类的考试内容都是针对一个看法、论点或问题作答。

由于TASK 2所占的分数比重是TASK 1的两倍,同时该部分A类与G类考题内容以及问题形式趋于一致,也是中国考生错误比较密集的部分,所以接下来的内容将围绕着Task 2 展开。

错误一:语言绝对化

根据能量守恒定律(Law of energy conservation),即“各种能量形式互相转换是有方向和条件限制的,能量相互转换时其量值不变,表明能量不能被创造或消灭”,人们在使用语言描述事物变化时,应尽可能避免语言过于绝对化,尤其是在使用第二语言进行正式的书面表述时,更应该注意该语言中非绝对化表达方式的学习,这样才能尽显文章内容的客观性。

这是绝大多数中国考生在面对雅思写作TASK 2时所忽视的,大家可以对比如下两组句子:

This tends to occur whenever there is a downturn in commodity prices.

This occurs whenever there is a downturn in commodity prices.

A child learning a foreign language at primary school causes confusion between their native language and the foreign one.

A child learning a foreign language at primary school is likely to cause confusion between their native language and the foreign one.

为解决该问题,笔者总结了一些表达委婉语气的用语和句式,考生可以尝试使用,如:may, might, would, could, largely, possibly, probably, be likely (unlikely) to, be inclined to, tend to, to a large (some) extent, there is a higher probability/possibility that…等。

错误二:只回答部分问题

An increasing number of people are moving and living in big cities. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative trend? (2010年1月23日 G类) 该题有两个问题,很多考生在作答时忽视了第一问,只回答第二问,抑或是把第一问和该现象积极的一面混为一谈,如:

On the one hand, living in big cities brings about a considerable number of advantages, which is also why people move to big cities. Initially, it is undeniable that work conditions in big cities are usually better that those in countries and small cities. With more work opportunities and a higher level of salary, people in other places, especially the young, are inclined to move to big cities. Subsequently, not only does living in big cities offer people better work conditions, but also it affords dwellers with facilities of higher quality. These facilities, such as the premium hospitals and education resources, are extremely attractive to countryside people and those in small cities. (考生答卷)

该现象的原因应从大城市移民的角度考虑,如可以享受更好的生活设施,教育资源和就业机会等。而其积极的一面应从城市居民或管理者的角度考虑,如大量的“移民”给城市带来了更多的劳动力和税收。

遇到此类考题,考生可以将全文分为四个段落,除去开头和结尾段,主体两个段落分别回答一个问题,即第二段回答产生该现象的“原因”,第三段选取积极或消极任何一面展开论述。

错误三:容易跑题

该现象产生的原因主要是考生没有正确地理解题目,如Some people think that foreign tourists abroad should be charged more than local people to visit a country’s cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2011年4月30日A类)

就该题而言,很多考生将意思是“收费”的charged一词理解为“控制”,而该词是我们在中学阶段就已经学习过的。这就很容易导致作文跑题,而跑题的作文分数为5分。

避免该问题,首先,在积累词汇阶段,考生应连同其同义词准确记忆;其次,由于每年的考题重复率相对较高,所以,如果时间允许,考生可以在练习阶段把近几年题目通读一遍,准确理解题目内容。

错误四:文章没有分段或分段不充分

雅思作文应按照论文的写作格式分段,即有开头段,结尾段和由两到三段构成的主体段落。不论是四段式还是五段式,考生只要进行合理的分段,就能满足考试在逻辑性方面的要求。

错误五:字数不够

字数不够,即在规定时间内(40分钟)没有达到文章字数要求(至少250单词)。字数不足250单词,文章最高将不会超过5.5分,这在《剑8》Test 2和《剑7》Test 4提供的考生答卷中均有体现。

产生该问题的原因主要有:1. 观点数量少;2. 不知道观点如何展开;3. 写作速度太慢。那么,要在规定时间内满足字数要求,考生需要想出足够多的观点,学习如何展开观点,熟练运用复杂句并提高写作速度。接下来我们将分析如何满足以上要求:

首先,考生需要想出足够多的观点。为此,很多考生会搜集各种网站所做的“写作预测”,从而提前准备观点。需要提醒考生的是不要盲目相信各种“预测”,预测题目可以练习使用,但目的是更好地提升写作水平;相反,若把所有精力集中在预测题目上,并背诵相关内容,最终很有可能会被当作模板处理,而对于使用模板或者是含有大量语言记忆片段的文章,最高分数不会超过5分。所以,建议考生积累观点要走“正道”即:1. 扩大阅读面。阅读中文相关内容也可以有效地增加考生的背景知识。2. 积累同类话题的通用观点。

在文章总字数要求不变的情况下,每个段落观点数量越多,意味着支持句的数量就可以相应地减少。如果一个段落中含有两个观点,那么每个观点句展开一个支持句就满足字数要求了,如:Charity organizations should give aid to people in the greatest need, wherever they are from, or help people in their own countries. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (2010年1月9日A类)

Opponents of charity organizations only giving aid domestically, however, contend the assistance should be open to people in need no matter where they are from. To start with, it is the functionality of charity organizations to render help to those who are in great need, regardless of their nationalities. Otherwise, it may be considered as going breach of the purposes they are established for. What is more, not only can international charity assistance enhance the friendship of two nations, but also help eliminate the conflicts and misunderstandings, thereby stimulating the cultural exchanges between countries. (94words)

如果一个段落只有一个观点,在保持段落字数不变的情况下,支持句的数量就要相应地增加,如:Some people think that foreign tourists abroad should be charged more than local people to visit a country’s cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2011年4月30日A类)

The reason that I oppose to the above view is the unfairness and inequality this proposal may conduce to. As is known to all, historic attractions are owned by all human beings and should be shared by people from all over the world equally and without discrimination. Once this proposal being implemented, an unfavorable impression of this country would be formed in no time. There is a fear that foreign travelers may never come again. Neither do their friends nor those who gain this negative information. And this will inevitably lead to a vicious circle. (95words)

因此,在观点较少的情况下,能否将观点充分地展开成为满足字数要求的关键所在。

其次,如何展开一个观点,关键在于是否能够灵活运用论证方式。常用的论证方式包括:解释(explanation),延伸(extension),举例(exemplification)和对比(contrast)等,如:

A lot of innovations are made with the aim of making money for a few. This is because it is the rich and powerful people in our society who are able to impose changes (such as in working conditions or property developments) that are in their own interests. (第二句为解释论证)(《剑6》Test 4)

My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons. That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why. (第二句为延伸论证) (《剑5》Test 2)

To do this, we need to improve the choice of public transport services available to travelers. For example, if sufficient sky train and underground train systems were built and effectively maintained in our major cities, then traffic on the roads would be dramatically reduced.(第二句为举例论证)(《剑8》Test 3)

The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast, those who have spent some time earning a living or traveling to other places, have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. (第二句为对比论证)(《剑5》Test 2)

最后,提高写作速度,其关键在于“固定”。要想在那么短的时间内,在考场上高度紧张的状态下写出满足字数要求同时又非常优秀的文章来,的确是非常困难的,但是雅思考官曾讲过,考场上任何一篇优秀文章中的每一个单词都是经过精心准备的。因此,要想保证字数同时又保证质量,考前精心的准备和设计是非常必要的。如:

固定开头段

The late 20st century witnessed the every surging boom of advanced technology, which has brought attention to a heated debate concerning whether housework should be accomplished manually.

The late 20st century witnessed the ever surging boom of the world population, which has brought attention to a heated debate concerning whether people should be encouraged to move into skyscrapers.

固定常用句型

引导观点或者解释论证

It is a widely held perception that…

It is a commonly shared convention that…

举例子

A great case in point is that…

延伸论证

So…that…

对比论证

主语+should/would/could/might + do +其他+ if +主语+did/be(were) +其他

连接两个观点

Not only…but also…

注意:文章中固定下来的内容,尤其是开头段、结尾段和文中的一些固定句型,最好不要摘自比较流行的辅导参考书,避免被考官认为是抄袭或者模板。因此,考生需要自己总结或者在阅读国外期刊杂志以及相关网站原版内容的过程中不断积累,同时还要保证固定内容不能超出自身英语水平太高,否则,被考官认定是语言记忆片段的可能性较大。把固定下来的内容运用熟练,就可以有效地提高写作速度,从而满足字数要求。

错误六:用词不恰当

首先,考生应避免口语词汇,如a lot of可以由a substantial number of和a significant number of等词来替换;

其次,使用正式词汇。尽可能用两个音节以上的词汇替代一个音节的词汇,如comprehend替代get和 establish替代set up。这是因为在学术类文章中,要求使用正式词汇。单音节词多属于非正式词汇,而正式词汇都属于两个音节以上的词汇,为了避免增加考生词汇记忆的负担,建议考生在选择用词时,尽可能避免单音词即可。

以上内容的总结,目的是为了让大家了解这些错误的根源并尽可能地避免,这有利于大家取得较好的雅思写作成绩。与此同时,本文提供的一些错误解决办法对大家出国以后的论文写作也具有一定的指导意义。这也是雅思考试的科学之处,即让考生通过备考阶段,掌握留学生活中所需要的各种语言能力,如快速阅读及论文写作,从而帮助学生更好地适应海外的学术生活。

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